Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019)

Big picture: this movei is a hot mess, and it's a hot mess because they didn't care. They just didn't care. To illustrate just how much they didn't care, this review will have zero revisions or correcions. Similar to the movie in question, I'm just going to say "Fuck it!" and throw it oout there.

The biggest problem with this movie is that it tries to doo too damn much too damn fast. They try to fit in two movies worth of content into one movie. You're constantly in the midst of a whirlwind tour of the plot: "Look at this cool thing as we're still on our way to the next. No time to stop! We're late! We're late"

I don't think there were many BAD decidions made as far as the plot goes, I think they were all pretty much fumbled because of a lack of foresight. I'm not even going to waste my time talking much about it. Go watch it so you can see a franchise commit ritual suicide. Cry with me as a thing you used to love destroys itself as Disney milks the life force out of it.

I'm kinda glad it's over with now. I was tired of watching the abuse.

(Side Note: All of the actors are fine. Except Adam Driver. I just have NEVER liked his work here. I don't know if he's a horrible, wooden actor, or Kylo Ren is a horrible, wooden character. Either way, thank it's all OVER.

2/7 Banans